Thesuicidal's Blog

anything goes

Brick by Boring Brick May 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — thesuicidal @ 01:00 am05

It’s about a girl who is stuck in the past and how when your a kid you live in a fairy tale land. When your older though its time to bury the fantasies and grow up. The whole songs about growing up nothing about being abused or anything sexual

She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of the world that she’s left behind
It’s all about the exposure the lens I told her
The angles were all wrong now
She’s ripping wings off of butterflies
keep your feet on the ground
when your head’s in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out
But it was a trick
And the clock struck twelve
Well make sure to build your home brick by boring brick
or the wolf’s gonna blow it down
keep your feet on the ground
when your head’s in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah you built up a world of magic
If it’s not real
You can’t hold it in your hand
You can’t feel it with your heart
And I won’t believe it
But if it’s true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh even in the dark
And that’s where I want to be, yeah
Go get your shovel
We’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well go get your shovel
and we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Guys x2:
ba da ba ba da ba ba da……
Hayley x2:
ba da ba ba da ba ba da…..


the scientist: my fave song

Filed under: Uncategorized — thesuicidal @ 01:00 am05
this song by coldplay is the best song i've ever heard..
it's meaning is so perfect.,.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.

I'm goin' back to the start.

Ohhhh oooooo
Ahhhh oooooo
Ohhhh oooooo
Ohhhh oooooo

Singing for Tomorrow April 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — thesuicidal @ 01:00 pm04

“My bukas pa, sa iyong buhay,” this is the line I often hear from my sister. Every morning she wakes up and every night before she goes to sleep, this cute little girl and one of my brothers sing the song May Bukas Pa with all their best.

Kim Nokia Monique fondly called by her friends as “noknok” (but I love calling her Mon), is the youngest in our family. For me, she is not just an ordinary sibling God has given me. Everything about her is special. Unlike other children of her age, Mon already knows what is right and what is wrong. She knows and understands our situation already, as if she is my age.

When she was still three years old, she was already sent to school—enrolled in a Day Care Center since that was the only one available in our place. What amazed me is the fact that she outwitted me. My sister already knows how to write at the age of three although she does not know how to read complete sentences. Another characteristic of her that surprised me was her ability to get the attention of anybody around her. The way she talks and the way she deals with people, she is certainly like a grown up.

At three, she speaks like a six year old kid—very sure of her words, very serious, and showing potential to become a leader—leading kids of her age. She is such a clever kid. You cannot fool her so easily. She is kind of a skeptic-sometimes-cynical-type of child. She does not believe what has been said so easily. She could even let you believe the unbelievable.

But what caught my mind most is the way she manages to listen and understand our situation. Being left in the house most of the time because of my parents’ busy schedule, my sister learns to go to class and go back home all by herself. She learns to feed her hungry mouth and starving stomach by seeking haven in my maternal grandparents. She learns to fix her bed after waking up from a very sound sleep without anybody teaching her. She came to know how to sweep the floor and the backyard, wash the dishes, and wash her own clothes, takes a bath, dress herself properly, and goes in and out of the house without failing to check the door’s lock—all of these she came to know because she understands that our parents are too busy enough to do those chores, that my brothers, her kuyas are also busy in school and that they cannot do it too nor can they help her.

Every time my parents have a fight, my sister would only run to her room and lock the door. And if she cannot bear it all, she would go outside and reprimand my parents, asking them to stop. “Sege ug away,” she always says every time my parents are fighting. She also understands if there are times we eat only supplementary foods for meals when we run out of supplies for our daily consumptions. She does not make any complaints when my mother cannot give her “baon” for school. It is ok with her, so long as she has eaten her meals.

She even imitates whatever my mother does. In the house for instance, she would scold her older brothers if they won’t do their assignments right away. She even wants everyone call her “ate” imitating me.

She loves kids like they are her siblings especially the younger ones. She is frankly a maldita-type of kid but if the one who hurts her is younger than her, she would rather cry and inform the mother of the latter than fight back. And when she calls me, or when I call her, she always asked my condition and jokes that I shouldn’t be worried because she will send me money for my food and class requirements.

That is how wonderful my only sister is. Every time I looked at her, pain registeres on my heart and mind remembering the time she askes me this: “Am I beautiful? Tita Jo said I am not.. that ate Nelcie is the one who is beautiful.” I almost cried when I saw in her eyes the insecurities a child should not feel. True, our cousin Nelcie is a beauty, city girl, but my sister is more beautiful than her. It’s just that we can’t afford to buy my sister beautiful dresses Nelcie wears. Nor can we afford to bring her to big malls and treat her to luxurious meals. But my sister doesn’t mind at all. What she wants is to see us all happy and problem free.

That is my sister. The best sister I’ve ever known. Contented and satisfied. ©

Note: This was published in PAMUKAW–a lab publication of three ComMStud major subjects.


cyber prostitution

Filed under: Uncategorized — thesuicidal @ 01:00 pm04

well, people in the cyberworld..

The explosive growth of the Internet makes the all the people in the whole wide world to get connected to each other. Many corporations, advertisers, government experts, and computer visionaries regard the Internet as a fundamental part of a new information superhighway to be the backbone of an emerging, global information economy. The Internet has already become a worldwide communications system that transformed society as profoundly as the telephone, radio, or television.

showing off what she got..

However, this growing power and importance has also unleashed a storm of controversy regarding the Internet. This revolutionary information network ignores geographic and governmental barriers, undermines obscenity and pornography laws and restrictions, has the potential to invade individual privacy in numerous ways, and threatens to divide society between the information haves and have-nots. As the Internet draws people in the world closer together than ever before, it is also forcing our differences out into the open.

Controversy about Internet as the means of livelihood aired almost every corner of the Philippine society.  Does anybody know that the Philippines was already branded as the “Cyber Sex Capital of the World?” And why Filipinas are being discriminated outside of the country? That instead “Filipina” would mean a very conservative and preserved woman turns out to be a prostitutes or an atchay? These kinds of impressions by foreigners indeed cause offense to us Filipinos. But, who could blame those people if we in the very first place give that kind of impression to them?

Bislig City for instance, big and beautiful houses could be found at any spot of the city. Well, cars and motorcycles included, “ladies” or woman of any age wearing sexy and haughty outfit and heavy make ups any time of the day are seen like models walking along the catwalk or just sitting in their rooms (well, that’s what my cousin always did when she has not left for America yet, and now my Tita has replaced her in her seat despite the fact that she’s already married). But, could anybody guess where are they heading to? Some might be surprise with the truth but truth always prevails. Those people being mentioned headed to any Internet café available in the cities or some just stay at their respective homes with that shocking get up.

These people go to internet café not to do some research like most students did, but go there to chat with their foreign lovers and chatmates.  Well, it’s not actually bad having foreign lovers because loving someone and being loved by someone indeed is never a fault as long as both parties do not have responsibilities yet to others. However, this kind of relationship making has something to do with the negative impressions and the labeling by foreign people to the Filipinos. The real situation of the country—poverty hikes—push people to do such idea as a solution to their problems. Chatting has become one of the means of livelihood in Bislig area.

What makes it detrimental to the Philippine society as a whole is that firstly, the morality of the Filipino people has declined and has been degraded because these people involved do not necessarily put real emotion to their relationship with foreigners but they are only after of the money and properties of these outlandish lovers of them. (In fact, most of these lovers were already old enough to be these Pinays’ father or even grandparent). It turns out that these Filipino chatters were only using these foreigners to hoist their economic condition using not only their sweet words but their sexy and hot bodies as well.

Secondly, many students were discouraged to continue their studies because of the reason that money can be attained in a no-sweat-way of work. I could remember my lola once dissuade me with my plan to continue for college education. According to her “why do you have to study? You can just sit in front of the computer and have a bundle of money..”  But of course I wasn’t discouraged because I know my lola did not know what she’s talking about. A teacher in elementary who continued her master’s degree with her husband’s expense left her career as a teacher for chatting, and she did not only left her profession but she did left her husband too for a new lover—an outlandish. On the contrary, there are also husband who pimps their wives to such kind of doing. Husband types the message for his wife’s foreign lover and using the face and body of his wife, or, if ever the foreigner visits his Pinay lover, husband act as a driver. How the hell these people could endure such thing knowing that their wives were meeting other men? And how could these wives of them just allow it to happen?

Thirdly, as a result of the second is that, there were already many families ruined and broke, children who were left behind and unfortunately lost their paths. Families who were once hard up and then became rich because of the dollars they get from their foreigner lovers threaten the stability of our society in general.

Bislig City because of these reasons is branded as the Cyber Sex Capital of the Country. Bislaganon, definitely already lost the real values of a Filipino. Why? It is indeed prostitution in the cyberspace. Being paid in exchange of losing once dignity through chatting, and cybersex in particular affect not only one Filipino but all of the Filipino citizens. Your body to strangers just to satisfy their needs with money in return is not a good is not a good idea at all.

Well, at some point, these people who have involved themselves to this kind of undertaking could not totally be blamed why on earth they have taken part to this thing. The reasons often hear from them is that “dahil sa hirap ng buhay”. Yeah right. Because of the unstoppable crisis now a days, and not enough job opportunities (if there is any, many do not reach the qualification standard), chatting with foreigners is really hard to be resisted. Government I could say is supposed to do something not to tolerate this kind of “job” if it qualifies to be called as a job because it adds up the problems in our society.

However, I doubt government would do anything. Why? Just like OFWs, the money sent by these foreigners somehow help boost our economy. And so, government just allows it even if it means deterioration of the society when it comes to morality and stability of the Philippine as a nation. World as time goes by becomes worst despite the advancement of science and technology. In fact, this new inventions of science are the one causing the threat to the life of the people.

Note: This entry was published in PAMUKAW–a lab publication of three ComMStud major subjects.


Hello world! March 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — thesuicidal @ 01:00 am03

Welcome to This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!